I really do want to be well-adjusted.
I want to go away to college, and I want to have fun. I want things to work out-- for me, for you, for everyone. I want to take beautiful pictures and be able to dance again and to remember how to sing. (I'm not speaking poetically... I really did know how to do these things once.)
When I am twenty-five, I want to be able to look back on when I was twenty and smile. I want to be able to tell side-splitting stories that start with "Do you remember that time when we went to..." or "This reminds me of the time we..." or "Let me tell you about..."
I want friends that know me better than I know myself. I want friends who can look at me and tell what I am thinking. I want friends that I can take late-night drives with, that I can tackle and collapse laughing with, that I can have adventures with.
Yes, I want to get married, but I'm not ready for that yet. I don't think I ever was. I wanted to be, really, but I have things to do. Growing up is first on the list. Getting reacquainted with this girl that disappeared, that evaporated into thin air.
And I'll do it. I'll really do it. I'll do whatever I feel like I have to, and I'll grow up, and I'll learn to be myself again. It's going well, really. But there will always be a secret hope, and I know this.
I really will find my rainbow connection. I promise I will.